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Introduction
Twins have always fascinated me. When I learned that I would become the
mother of twins, I felt like I had won the lottery. The saga of raising
them has been an enviable experience. The caption on the shower invitation
at their birth, “Double the Pleasure,” turned out to be prophetic
as those early days blurred by sleepless nights turned quickly into the
months and years that became their childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Those years have produced two strong, well-adjusted individuals whose
delightful personalities bring joy to their family and friends alike.
This chapter of our sojourn together is ending with Ashley’s February
marriage and Adrienne’s upcoming wedding in May. This seemed like
an appropriate time to try to learn more about and preserve something
of their experience as twins so far in life. As I did my research for
this paper and my fieldwork with the girls, I came to know and understand
things about them and about twins in general that I had never realized
before, in spite of the closeness we have shared. Twins see the world
in a unique way, and view life from a perspective they both celebrate
and enjoy. Their worldview is affected by their experience as a twin.
However, the difference between their view of themselves and the erroneous
viewpoint sometimes held by singletons concerning twins is a paradox they
confront often. I have collected stories from Adrienne and Ashley that
illustrate how it feels to be a twin, that reflect the world as they see
it, and that confront the different viewpoints held by themselves and
others.
Folklorist George H. Schoemaker defines worldview as “the system
of values, attitudes, and beliefs that provides a person’s fundamental
understanding of the way the world works” (241). Normally this idea
is associated with a particular religious or cultural group. However as
I have conducted this research, I have realized how being a twin creates
a unique worldview as well. In fact, in an interview with Ashley, she
used the word “culture” to describe her experience as a twin.
Shoemaker makes the point that “a culture’s worldview includes
beliefs that people of that culture take for granted and ideas about the
world that they see as inarguably true, and therefore as natural”
(53). Barre Toelken calls world view a “particularized method of
thinking” (225). He also claims that “much of our deportment
in life as individuals is based on where we conceive of ourselves to stand
in time and space, for our concepts of appropriate behavior rest on these
perceptions” (231). Of course, those ideas of what is natural and
appropriate that are held by a particular group, especially if that group
is in the minority of the population, can cause misunderstandings between
the majority and the minority group. Such is the case with twins on issues
of identity and communication. The majority of the population sees these
issues through the exoteric eyes of a singleton, and a minority sees them
through the esoteric eyes of an identical twin. These discrepancies in
worldview are the cause of many misunderstandings about twins.
My informants, more fondly referred to as my daughters, Ashley Paige
and Adrienne Hale Andros will turn 22 years old on May 13th of this year
(2002). They are both completing bachelor’s degrees at Brigham Young
University in Provo, Utah. Ashley will graduate in April 2002 in Marketing,
and Adrienne will graduate in December 2002 in Public Relations. When
I told them I wanted to collect some of their stories about their experiences
as twins for my semester paper, they were enthusiastic about the project.
However, we all found that the distance between us and our individual
time constraints were challenging obstacles to overcome. Consequently,
I bought a telephone tape recording devise, and we began trying to mesh
our hectic schedules for the long interviews. The two-hour time difference
made the telephone interviews especially difficult to obtain. I did three
one hour interview sessions: one taped telephone interview with Ashley
alone, one taped telephone interview with Adrienne alone, and one taped
personal interview with the two of them together while I was visiting
in Utah. The girls were eager to do the interviews. They love being twins
and they love to talk about it. I was concerned that the telephone interviews
might not feel quite natural. However, I discovered that once we began
to talk, the telephone and tape recorder did not deter them from telling
their stories. Many of the first stories they told dealt with the issue
of identity.
Identity
In all three interviews with the girls, there was a topic related to
identity that came up early and often. It was the topic of the questions
people ask them about being twins. The girls refer to them as “dumb
questions” because they threaten their identity as individuals.
Questions such as “If I pinch her can you feel it?” often
reflect the attitude that much of the world has about identical twins:
If they look the same, they are the same person. This attitude is as old
as mythological stories about twins and as recent as modern research on
human cloning. Many people feel that if someone is identical genetically,
they are exactly alike in all other ways as well. In the first interview
I had with Ashley, the subject of the questions people ask was one of
the first things she mentioned.
Fieldwork, Stories, and Analysis
This interview took place on Friday night, February 28, 2002, shortly
after 8:00 p.m. Because of the distance involved, we had planned a telephone
interview, so at the appointed time, Ashley was home alone waiting for
my call. I was looking forward to hearing her “twin stories,”
and she was eager to share them. I had selected Adrienne’s room
as the place to do my interviews and had set up the tape recorder and
hooked it up to the telephone. The room was filled with paraphernalia
that reminded me of the girls. A heart-shaped photograph of Ashley and
Adrienne as 10-year-olds adorned the dresser. Young Women posters and
favorite artistic prints decorated the walls. Left over monkeys that had
not been carted off to college were carefully placed to await their owner’s
return. And on the desk was a mug featuring Adrienne and her fiancé.
In my mind’s eye, I could see the girls giggling on the bed, trying
on outfit after outfit before a dance, or doing their homework on the
floor to the beat of a favorite CD. I sat down at Adrienne’s desk
and dialed the phone number.
Ashley picked it up after a couple of rings. We chatted for a minute,
and then I asked her if she was ready to tell me some stories. I told
her that I would be recording what she said. I suggested that she try
not to think about that but to imagine that we were at home hanging out
in the family room talking to each other. She didn’t seem bothered
that a tape recorder would be running, so I turned it on and she started
to talk. As Ashley told me stories about growing up as a twin, my eyes
kept returning to a picture of the girls that was sitting on Adrienne’s
desk. They were in their high school track uniforms, smiling broadly at
me. Ashley had been talking awhile when she laughed and said that she
and Adrienne get asked a lot of “dumb questions.” Then she
started to tell this story:
Here’s a “Dumb Question” story.
There [^] was someone,
I think it was at work, maybe at Falcon’s Landing,
that asked us when we look in the mirror do we get
5 mixed up, like do I think I’m her, does she think she’s
me?
And there was actually one time
specifically that I remember,
I think it was the very first time that we were even apart
for more than a class period.
10 It was in 8th grade when I went up to Reno.
I was walking down
the hallway in Julie and Tom’s
house and they had a full-length mirror at the end of it.
And I wasn’t thinking and it was early
in the morning.
15 I was just kind of walking down the hall and I thought, “Oh
here comes Adrienne,”
and it wasn’t Adrienne, it was me!
I never thought that I’d get myself mixed up!
It’s not like when I’m looking in the mirror doing my hair
that I think, “Oh is that
me or Adrienne?”
20 It’s not like that.
But sometimes when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror in passing…
I don’t consider myself not being able to tell us apart but
I have
every once in awhile
25 confused me for her
in a mirror
when she’s not
in the mirror.
You know, like when I’m just expecting her to be around somewhere
maybe,
30 or if I forget that she’s not with me
and I see myself and I think,
“Oh, is that
Adrienne?”
And I look
and it’s me.” [^]
Of the many symbols present in Ashley’s story, the mirror stands
out as a symbol of the way that identical twins reflect each other. It
is a symbol of their physical similarities. Ashley sees herself by looking
at Adrienne and sees Adrienne by looking at herself. I have often seen
Ashley and Adrienne actually use each other for a mirror. For instance,
when we are shopping together, one of them will hand the other an outfit
to try on so she can see how it looks. Still, because their physical similarities
are only one aspect of two very unique individuals, they often forget
they look so much alike until something (like the mirror experience Ashley
relates) reminds them. The mirror is also a symbol of the way they are
seen by others, who often mistake the physical likeness of twins to mean
that they are one person. Because the unnamed person in the story cannot
tell the difference between the two of them, he wonders, therefore, if
they are able to distinguish themselves from each other in a mirror (l.2-5).
Just as the symbol of the mirror contributes to the understanding of
identity, so do the dialogic voices in Ashley’s story. Ross and
Ray report that “according to Bakhtin, the multiple voices contained
in any narrative work invariably represent diverse and often conflicting
attitudes…” (86). One voice in Ashley’s story, the “dumb
question” voice, is telling her something that she doesn’t
want to hear, that she and Adrienne are one person. Ashley realizes that
this is false and ridiculous and is therefore a “dumb question”
that stereotypes twins and frustrates her. If the questioner’s assumption
were true, it would threaten her sense of identity and individuality (l.17).
The “dumb question” voice is an exoteric voice trying to grasp
the concept of twinness. It represents the way others see identical twins,
as two reflections of the same person, like seeing double. It only sees
the similarities and not the differences, which are so important to a
person’s identity. The other voice in the story is the esoteric
voice, the voice of experience. Yet it acknowledges that while the outsider
may have a dumb question, that there is a grain of truth in such a query
(l.6-7). It is Ashley’s voice trying to explain something significant
about the identity of twins. It distinguishes between the sameness and
oneness experienced by twins. Ashley’s voice tells about how someone
looking at twins from the outside can seem so close to being right, but
be very wrong in their assessment of being a twin (l.18-20). One twin
is not a carbon copy, or a mirror image of the other, but the two are
separate individuals with unique talents, preferences, and personalities.
Each person needs her own identity.
While identity is not a comfortable thing for twins to share, a sense
of place can be easily shared. In fact, it seems to me that sense of place
evokes what Ashley and Adrienne enjoy about being twins. Ashley’s
voice in the story resounds with a sense of place that has been created
by shared memories. It echoes the rightness of twins being together and
the comfort of transferring the sense of oneness that they share from
place to place, even when she and Adrienne are apart (l.8-10). It gives
information about place that is not geographical but is abstract. Lucy
R. Lippard touches on the qualities of the place that Ashley sees. Lippard
writes that “the word place has psychological echoes as well as
social ramifications” (9). “Unlike place (which I defined.
. . as seen from the inside),” Lippard also writes, “landscape
can be seen only from the outside, as a backdrop for the experience of
viewing” (8). Ashley is inside the place in which she is most comfortable,
a place that is filled with fond memories. That is her place in life as
a twin. From inside that place, she can see and is happy with the oneness
she and Adrienne share. It is a oneness that is hard for the outsider
(who may view twinness as merely a landscape) to appreciate. It doesn’t
have anything to do with the way twins look (sameness), but has everything
to do with the bond they feel (oneness).
Ashley is happy with her sense of place as a twin, yet she values her
distinct identity as well, and is insulted when others rob her of it.
By viewing Ashley’s personal narrative through the symbolism of
the mirror, examining its dialogic voices, and exploring its sense of
place, it becomes more clear how the bond of oneness felt by twins and
the need for individual identity need not be a paradox. It is possible
to have a sense of oneness with another person, but remain a separate
and unique individual. The “Dumb Question” illustrates the
paradox of being a twin. It is a “Dumb Question” not because
it implies likeness in twins, but because it completely misunderstands
that likeness, seeing it as outward and underestimating the inner closeness
shared by the two girls. Adrienne put it best in our interview on March
21. She said, “It’s kind of ironic because there are times
where we act like the same person, but if somebody else treats us like
that it’s not okay.”
In a 1998 Washington Post Magazine, Arthur Allen’s article “The
Mystery of Twins “ explores the similarity of twins and talks about
some research done on identical twins by psychologist Thomas Bouchard.
He was involved in an extensive study begun in 1979 of 60 pairs of identical
twins raised separately. Journalists highlighted and wrote about the “spectacularly
similar” (2) pairs from that study, such as the Springer-Lewis twins,
but those publicized cases turned out to be standouts in the study, while
most of the twins studied were not nearly as similar. Bouchard says that
“the emphasis on the idiosyncratic characteristics is misleading.
On average, identical twins raised separately are about 50 percent similar—and
that defeats the widespread belief that identical twins are carbon copies.
Obviously they are not. Each is a unique individual in his or her own
right” (3). Allen talks about the current genetic research and the
public desire to identify a gene that is responsible for every human trait
or problem. He goes on to say that “something inside us—a
fatalism gene, perhaps?—makes us want to believe that the genetic
blueprint holds the secrets of who we are. Something of this fatalism
imbues the folklore of twins…[but] natural born clones don’t
have to be told they are separate individuals—they know it”
(3-4).
Not only do Adrienne and Ashley recognize and assert their individuality,
but they sometimes even forget they look alike, and they forget what they
look like to other people. In fact, they reported in an interview, it
was some time before they realized how much they look alike. Every once
in awhile something happens that causes them to see themselves as others
see them. During my interview with Adrienne, she talked about that.
This interview took place over the telephone about 11:00 p.m. on the
night of March 7, 2002. As with the previous interview I had had with
Ashley, my recording equipment was set up in Adrienne’s room. We
had been set up for it on several previous evenings, but had had to cancel,
so we were happy when we were finally able to find a time to talk. It
was late at night, but we had had many other late-night conversations
sprawled on the bed in this room, so it was a natural time for us to talk.
She was enthusiastic about telling her stories and began by telling me
how nice it is to have a twin in social situations. She said that there
is always someone to talk to when there is a lull in a party or dance.
Then she told me the following story:
You’re never looking awkward
when you have a twin,
although, actually, that’s not true.
That leads me into another twin thing.
5 We always think it’s funny to see
other twins on campus because we think they
almost look silly because they look
exactly alike,
you know?
Like they’re walking along and their hair is the same
10 and they look the same and they’re the same size, and maybe the
same backpack
you know and you think, “That looks funny.”
They look exactly alike.
It looks unusual, you know.
But we forget that that’s what we look like when we’re walking
around campus.
15 Like I notice that people stare sometimes, but I
hardly even associated it with being a twin
until
a couple of years ago.
It hardly even crossed my mind that people
would
20 look twice at us.
I don’t think it’s unusual
but when I see it, I do.
When I see other twins I think it’s
more unusual than I think it is for us to be. . . .
25 The other day on the drive back from San Diego, we stopped for lunch
in Las Vegas and
Matt [Adrienne’s fiancé] and Brian [Ashley’s husband]
went and stood at the line to get
lunch.
And it was really crowded so me and Ashley went
to find us seats.
We thought, “Okay, that’s
30 fine, we’re going to be standing here in a crowded restaurant.”
And then we realized that we both had white T-shirts and jeans on you
know
and looked
completely conspicuous ‘cuz we’re standing in the
middle of
35 you know, In and Out [fast food place] looking for a seat.
Anyway, we don’t realize how
silly-not-silly,
like to us we call it silly,
but I don’t think it looks silly to other people.
40 I think it looks
like different
because we look exactly alike.
They notice it.
It’s not like they think
45 “Oh there’s two girls looking for….”
It’s like, “Oh there’s two girls that look exactly the
same
looking for a seat.”
Adrienne is telling about moments of clarity when she and Ashley suddenly
see themselves as others see them and realize that they look exactly alike
and that people notice them because of that. Because they are distinct
individuals and their differences are very apparent to them, they forget
that their outward similarity is so striking until they see twins on campus
or suddenly notice someone staring at them and catch a glimpse of themselves.
The symbol of the mirror once again emerges here, their moment of clarity
being a glance into a symbolic mirror.
Her story also points out some paradoxes of being a twin. In the first
line of the story Adrienne is talking about not having awkward moments
as a twin, She is referring to the fact that as a twin she is never left
standing awkwardly alone in a social setting, when she suddenly realizes
that there are other situations when being a twin makes her feel very
awkward, which she spends the rest of the story telling about. Another
paradox she mentions is the “silly-not-silly” line (37). They
feel silly in these brief realizations of exact likeness, but they hope
that to others they don’t look silly. No one wants to be a sideshow.
The girls want to be remembered as twins, but not as carbon copies, which
is the kind of “silliness “ Adrienne is referring to. Another
paradox that comes up in this story is that of being different in sameness.
In one sense, twins tend to lose personal identity to those around them,
but in another sense, as a twosome, they are noticed and remembered because
of the fact that they are twins. This story illustrates the downside of
that paradox. It illustrates a time that they don’t like being different
in their sameness. This comes up again in a later story that Ashley tells
and in other stories in the interview where the other side of that paradox
is explored.
The gaps in her story are intriguing, as well. They spark the imagination
of the reader as the need arises to fill in those gaps. At the end of
the first stanza Adrienne says, “When I see other twins I think
it’s more unusual than I think it is for us to be. . . .”
To be what? The reader is left to wonder. Did she trail off not wanting
to connect what it feels like to be a twin to what she is afraid it may
look like to others? Is she so self-consciously aware of the likeness
at that moment of clarity that her mirror is suddenly like the mirror
of a fun house distorting her vision and making her feel silly? Her voice
trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished and in the next stanza she
is telling about a trip to San Diego. Neal and Robidoux explain that “when
these narrative gaps occur there is a moment of indeterminacy; a moment
when the audience must create some details for themselves” (218).
They also note that “this interplay between the narrator and the
audience keeps the story vital and alive within the minds of the audience”
(219). Filling in the gaps makes the audience part of the story. In Adrienne’s
case, it causes the listener to become emotionally involved in her story
about how it feels to look exactly like someone else.
Communication
Both of the stories related by Ashley and Adrienne talk about the exoteric
response to the way they look and how they feel about that. When I had
the interview with the two of them together, one thing they talked a lot
about was the inner closeness they share, what being a twin feels like,
and the resulting issues of communication. (I wonder if that is why they
are both majoring in communications?) Ironically, I started our session
by inadvertently causing them to experience a communication situation
that is a common problem for them.
This interview took place March 21, 2002 at 9:30 p.m. at the home of
my daughter (their sister) Melissa, who lives in Provo Utah. Ashley and
Adrienne had arrived at the door of Melissa’s apartment. As they
were getting out of the car, Ashley asked Adrienne if she had brought
the tape recorder. Earlier, I had asked Ashley to remind Adrienne to bring
it. In the rush of the evening, Ashley had forgotten to remind her until
they arrived and Adrienne had, in fact, forgotten the tape recorder. She
was a bit frustrated that Ashley had not reminded her before they came.
She was no doubt irritated with me as well, for telling Ashley to remind
her instead of reminding Adrienne myself. This is one of their pet peeves
and one of the ways that people treat them like one person: to tell one
of them something and then assume that the information has been communicated
to both of them. That incident and the fact that we were late starting
our interview created an atmosphere that was not quite as relaxed as it
might otherwise have been. Nevertheless, we went forward with our plan
and closed ourselves in the bedroom of Melissa’s apartment. The
bedroom was small, so it made for close proximity as we talked, which
was warm and personal. Ashley and Adrienne sat on the bed and I sat on
a chair facing them. Adrienne did the taping with the tape recorder she
has been using this semester to tape interviews for her newspaper stories,
which made the recording go smoothly. In spite of the fact that I had
caused them to experience a common twin frustration right before the interview,
as they began to talk about being twins and telling their experiences,
they were soon laughing and giggling and enjoying the performance of their
stories. It was fun to listen to them reminisce and to be drawn into the
bond of oneness that they have achieved as a result of time spent together
and an entire lifetime of shared experiences. The stories they told gave
me new insights to the level of communication that they have with each
other.
Adrienne: If somebody is telling a story, you know,
and I don’t have something to relate to it,
but I know that Ashley has done something
or has had an experience like that,
5 I’ll tell it like…
Ashley: it’s yours.
Adrienne: it was my own and expect them to be just as
interested as if
it were mine.
Like today they said something in class about how you need to be drinking
a lot of milk
10 because
after the age of 25
your body just uses the calcium that you’ve already stored.
No matter how much milk you drink your body won’t store it up.
So I think, “Oh no, Ashley doesn’t drink that much milk.”
15 So I turned to Maria, you know, who cares,[^^^^]
and I’m like, “Ashley doesn’t drink milk.”
And every time they would say something
I’m like, “Oh well, she does have yogurt.”
She’s probably like, “I don’t care!”[^^^^]
20 Ashley:[^^^^]”That’s okay because she
does have yogurt.[^^^^]
Oh no, Ash doesn’t drink milk!”
Adrienne: She acted interested, but like I
tell people things
about Ashley because I feel like they are just as relevant to me
25 as my own experience and I tell them like
they were my own and like the person I’m talking to would care just
as much as if it were.
I’d be like, “Oh my sister had something like that happen
and…
Ashley: Someone else will tell me about their sister
and I think, “Oh that’s nice.”
30 But it’s not, really. But if it’s about Adrienne, it’s
about me.
It’s a personal story.
Ashley and Adrienne illustrate through this story that their communications
with each other are so complete that they feel the personal relevance
of each other’s experiences. It is a story about their personal
stories and the performance of them. They tell how they try to make a
connection with their audience, but when their “personal”
story is about the other twin and not about themselves that connection
is lost. In Adrienne’s performance of Ashley’s calcium intake
to Maria, Adrienne is very attuned to Maria’s response. She wants
the performance to be an exchange, but feels it is one-sided as she gauges
Maria’s reaction. In lines 15-19, Adrienne notes a couple of times
that Maria does not really care about what she is telling her about Ashley.
Ashley and Adrienne see each other’s personal experiences as coming
from the place they share and therefore equally significant. This abstract
shared place is difficult for Maria and other singletons to relate to.
Perhaps it originated from their earliest sharing of the womb, two individuals
enclosed in one small place. Since that time, the physical place has become
less and less defined. From womb to crib, from crib to classroom, their
physical proximity grows further and further apart with each passing year.
But the sense of that abstract place they share as identical twins, which
is symbolized but not limited to other shared physical places, is still
strong and filled with memories and shared experiences that define it.
Ashley and Adrienne transport this sense of place with them and the experiences
generated there belong to both of them. This story is a performance of
a performance in an effort to generate understanding of this complicated
concept. Adrienne tells this story because on one level it is funny and
entertaining. But on another level she hopes that the telling of it will
bridge a gap between herself and her audience. Especially in the context
of the purpose of the interview, she realizes that I am not the only “audience”
that will hear her story. As the girls talked, I noticed that finishing
each other’s sentences was common practice. This is not because
they have ESP or some bizarre twin connection, but because of knowledge
gained through intricate interactions and profoundly thorough communication.
And yet, conveying to others the things twins share and the ways in which
they are different from each other becomes a daunting task. Ashley explained
it this way:
There are some things of us, I mean some aspects of our lives that we
don’t share and it seems like those are the things that people try
to lump us together in. But then there are some aspects that we do share
and those are the ones we want everyone to recognize but not everyone
understands twins like we understand twins. And so it’s hard for
everyone to understand it like we understand it and for them to treat
us how we expect. You know what I mean? I mean to be identified like we
expect to be identified.
Because of this communications gap between twins and singletons, the
needs of twins are sometimes misunderstood. Consequently, they develop
ways to beat the system to get their needs met. One need that has been
expressed by Ashley and Adrienne in our interviews is the need for almost
constant communication with each other. In the first interview I had with
Ashley she said, “If we are apart for fifteen minutes, we have two
hours worth of things to talk about.” Because most people in the
world don’t come in pairs, it is hard for others to understand this
need. Another obstacle of communication is the rules of social appropriateness.
Sometimes, it just isn’t appropriate to talk to each other, for
instance in a class, in a larger group conversation, or in church. To
do so, might bring disapproval, or other undesirable consequences. As
a result of their need for close communication and the obstacles that
inhibit them from meeting that need, Ashley and Adrienne have developed
a system of communication that enables them to talk wherever they are.
The following story is one example of their use of this system and how
it works:
Ashley: I remember one time.
It was one particular Sunday that I was playing the organ and Adrienne
was down just in
the congregation and
I guess it was a day that …
5 I don’t know if the speaker was funny or if we were just bored
or what, but we kept
looking at each other the whole time and kind of making faces.
It’s kind of like an eye thing like a facial expression communication.
We’re not mouthing words or anything,
but we look around at something
10 and then make a face so that they know what we are thinking about,
maybe the person giving the talk or about something that we’re wearing,
you know, like maybe our hair or bangs or something.
You know what they’re thinking
about because they look at something and then make a face
15 you know, or there are just some things where you just know what she’s
asking
or what
she’s thinking about.
And there was one day in particular we were doing it a lot,
I guess because afterwards
20 I had two or three people come up to me….
And then Dad, also said that some people came up to him and were like,
“How do they do that? What are they doing?”
Brother Morgan came up to me and he’s like, “Who were you
talking to? I look at you
and then I look at your sister.
25 You’re both making these faces.
How do you do that?”
I don’t know.
I mean it’s hard to explain.
I don’t even know.
30 Adrienne: I always just thought it was natural with
whoever, you know.
But I don’t think I could communicate like that with
anyone else.
Ashley: [^^^^]
35 Adrienne: Like I know that we’ll be talking
to each other,
even if it is just across
Melissa’s living room with everybody over, you know,
and Matt will be watching us and he’ll be like…
[the next two lines were spoken at the same time]
Ashley: “What are
you doing? What’s going on? What did I do?”
40 Adrienne: “What? What are you guys talking about?
I can’t figure it out.” And
he’ll like put his hand between us and be like, “Okay….”
It’s pretty facial.
Ashley: No words, mostly.
Sometimes you’ll have to mouth a word to make them understand,
45 but usually it’s just
a face.
Like after something happens and you look at each other with some face….
which a lot of people do, but even if nothing ever happens,
we can just sit in church
50 a mile away
and talk the whole time
without even talking.
According to “Strategies of Coding in Women’s Cultures”
by Joan N. Radner and Susan S. Lanser, Ashley and Adrienne’s way
of communicating in church could be classified as explicit coding because
it is “apparent even to those who cannot decipher it” (5).
Radner and Lanser further state that “explicit acts of coding are
manifestly deliberate—unambiguously conscious and intentional in
that both the concealed message and the adoption of a code are undertaken
knowingly and purposefully” (6).
If Ashley and Adrienne were to carry on a regular conversation in church,
it would be irreverent and disruptive and might cause those around them
to be irritated or even angry. However, when this coding is witnessed
by members of the congregation, instead of irritation, there is a good-natured
interest such as Brother Morgan displayed when he asked Ashley, ”How
do you do it?” (l.25). In this way, Ashley and Adrienne’s
situation differs from other minorities or groups under domination in
that they are not at risk when their coding is discovered. Their antics
are disarming and may even help to bridge the gap between what others
understand about them and what they understand about themselves. The only
risk they take is that someone may actually be able to figure out what
they are saying, which could prove embarrassing. So far, however, the
response seems to be puzzlement, not success in deciphering it.
In the following story, the issues of identity and communication come
together as the girls lament the possible loss of identity with separation,
and contemplate the difficulty of communicating this loss. As I listened
to Ashley tell this story, with Adrienne listening attentively, nodding
in total agreement, I understood more fully the tender attachment they
feel to their place in life as identical twins. I could recognize from
their faces and voices a sense of displacement as the reality of their
inevitable separation becomes apparent. Ashley relates:
I was talking to a girl last night and I mentioned
something about having a twin sister
and she said, “You do?”
And I’m like, I don’t think I ever had a friend that never
knew . . .
5 And it’s like now that I’m married everyone always asks
about your husband
and about your husband, and when did you get married, but no one will
ever again
know…
Adrienne: that I’m a twin, I’m a twin, too.[^^]
Ashley: I will never be introduced….
10 like that’s how I was always remembered is that, “Oh they’re
twins.”
And everyone always knew that I was a twin.
It was kind of sad the other day
I said, ”I have a twin sister that’s getting married and she
said, “You have a twin?”
And I said, “Yes!”
15 And she said, “That’s cool!”
And we talked about it forever.
Yes, I do have a twin!
No one will ever know me….
Like I’ll go into a ward [church congregation] and some people will
never ever know I’m a
20 twin.
And that was how I grew up,
I was always identified as a twin and it was cool
Because I was an identical twin.
There was an urgency in the tone of this performance that begged that
this precious part of their identity not be lost with adulthood. Adrienne’s
insertion in line 9 “that I’m a twin, I’m a twin, too”
finishes Ashley’s sentence to the satisfaction of both of them and
emphasizes Ashley’s unsaid words better than if she had completed
the sentence herself. As Ashley speaks, she trails off in lines 5, 10,
and 19, leaving some gaps to be filled by her audience. It seemed as though
by not speaking the words, she might delay the inevitable separation.
In lines 13-16 of her story, Ashley bridges the gap between herself and
her friend by telling her she has a twin and then by “[talking]
about it forever.” I sensed as I listened to the beauty of their
lilting voices, that while they feel “kind of sad” (l.12)
about a future in which their twinship may not be apparent to their new
friends, they will insure that it is remembered through the stories they
will tell. The continuing performance of these stories will allow them
to perpetuate the fond memories of this stage of life as they move onto
and enjoy the next. Ashley’s story tells about the satisfaction
of having her friend discover that she has a twin. Hopefully, there will
continue to be responsive friends who think having a twin is “cool”
and that she and Adrienne will continue to reaffirm that by announcing,
“Yes, I do have a twin!” (l.17).
Conclusion
Becoming involved in the fieldwork on twins has been meaningful for me
and I have learned a lot as well. Working with the girls on this project
was a new and unique experience that all three of us enjoyed. As I have
listened to, transcribed and analyzed the girl’s stories, I have
come to have a deeper appreciation of the value and beauty of oral narrative.
Ashley and Adrienne’s stories have given me insight into the lives
of twins in general and into their lives in particular that I wouldn’t
have had any other way.
Being close to the topic and informants has been one thing that has made
this research rewarding for me. Chronicling their experiences has been
a useful thing for me to do as we finish one chapter of our lives and
move on to the next. There have been times during this project that I
have had tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing and other times from
crying. The paper has been an outlet for a thickness of intimate experience.
However, there were times when I felt like that closeness also made the
project more difficult than if I had been doing something I could have
been more objective about. For one thing, I had so much material and so
many things to talk about I could have filled a book. Therefore, it was
hard to sort through the possibilities and decide on a few concepts for
the paper. Also, because I had a vast amount of prior knowledge of the
informants, it was difficult to focus on the goal at hand and not wander
off course as each story reminded me of many other stories and experiences
in the past. However, as I persisted in my research and revisions, it
was satisfying to see a few points come into focus that accurately represent
the worldview of twins.
Twins see the world differently than singletons. Their worldview is affected
by their “cultural” experience as a twin. Toelken states that
“it is precisely because the members of each culture consider their
worldview to represent normalcy, a system of reality that can be experienced
in all traditional forms…that folklore provides us with one of the
most valuable and reliable ways of entering the subject” (235).
Through consideration of this collection of stories, it is possible to
better understand how the worldview of twins affects the way they see
themselves and their relationship to the world, especially in the issues
of identity and communication. Through the voices of these experienced
informants the paradox of being a twin comes alive in the rich full tones
unique to the performance of personal narrative.
Note: Explanations of ethnopoetic notation:
1.The beginning of each sentence is even with the left margin. The rest
of the sentence is indented.
2. A new line begins when there is a slight pause.
3. A new stanza begins where there is a slightly longer pause.
4. Italics mean a slight emphasis of a word.
5. [^] means a chuckle.
6. [^^^^] means laughing.
Most of the transcript is just as Ashley and Adrienne told it. The editing
that was done was meant to preserve the flavor and intent of their stories,
but to get rid of some of the filler words. I wanted to present them as
the bright, articulate college students that they are without losing their
delightful personalities and the spontaneity of the stories as they were
told.
Works Cited
Allen, Aurthur. “The Mysteries of Twins.” The Washington
Post Magazine. Jan. 1998.
4 Apr. 2002 <http//www.washingtonpost.com/wpsrv/national/longterm/
twins/twins2.htm>.
Andros, Adrienne. Personal Interview. March 7, 2002.
Andros, Adrienne, and Ashley Andros. Personal Interview. March 21, 2002.
Andros, Ashley. Personal Interview. March 1, 2002.
Lippard, Lucy R. The Lure of the Local: Senses of Place in a Multicentered
Society. NY:
New Press, 1997.
Murfin, Ross and Supria M. Ray. The Bedford Glossary of Critical and
Literary Terms.
Boston: Bedford, 1998.
Radner, Joan Newton, ed. Feminist Messages: Coding in Women’s
Folk Culture.
Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1993.
Schoemaker, George H., ed. The Emergence of Folklore in Everyday Life:
A Fieldguide
and Sourcebook. Bloomington: Trickster Press, 1990.
Toelken, Barre. The Dynamics of Folklore. Boston: Houghton Mifflin,
1979.
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